I want

to see Paramore live in KL this October 19th.
It's right after my finals too!!! But Yi Xin's having her SPM the next month and I can't think of anyone else who'd go with me and plan the whole begging-parents and making the trip there thing besides Rehanna. It's not like Paramore's an obscure, unknown band even like some other stuff I listen to. All my friends probably know them and like a few songs by them and would probably call themselves fans. But yeah. Sometimes I wish that the bands that I really want to meet and see live don't come to Malaysia so that I don't have to feel like I'm missing out on anything which is what happens when they DO come.

There are only a few bands which would make me this psyched to see them. Some of them are Switchfoot (duh.), David Archuleta (one day.... heheh.) and Paramore and The Rocket Summer. (and probably Coldplay and Relient K and John Mayer too. but not as much as the former bunch). I'm not sure why, but I think seeing these fellas would be more special to me than other bands are cause I have more memories with their music. I'm more familiar with their music than other bands. Their music has impacted me in some way, mostly big. and I'm sort of familiar with them as people (and I like them as people too). Like, I would choose a Paramore concert over a Kooks concert cause I actually know the people, or rather the names or the people (and their faces... I guess) in the band. Whereas even though I listen to The Kooks a lot, I was never bothered to look them up or anything to figure out like ohhhh what were they thinking when they wrote this and like how they behave when performing or when being interviewed and stuff (stalker stuff, but I like knowing this kind of thing. It helps me connect to the song more if I know the people making the song.) (actually, I probably would look them up (and I probably have actually haha I don't know why I'm still being so hypothetical about all this) but maybe I just don't admire who they are as people or anything. Not that I would know, judging from a few interviews and all that). but yes. That is the anatomy of why I'm bigger fan of certain bands compared to others. Because a. I relate to the music more. b. I relate to the musicians as people. c. I believe in what they stand for (not EVERYTHING but, most things.)

and since I started talking about Paramore in the beginning before I digressed, I'll just continue and give a brief history of my... uh 'fandom'. The first Paramore song I ever listened to was Hallujah, on youtube in 2007. After James quoted a lyric from Misery Business I think then I asked and was told it was a Paramore song so I looked them up. and Hallelujah just got released as a single at the time I think that's why it appeared as one of the first few results on youtube. SO. I loved it immediately. and that doesn't happen with many songs for me. So I downloaded a few other songs and the rest they say, is history. [/lame] haha. I'd never listened to a band with a female singer, or any female singer in fact so much til Paramore. (excluding you know... my Hilary Duff and S Club 7 days. I wasn't quite as into them the same way I was with Paramore). So yep. 07/2008 basically became my Paramore year. It's like when I think 2008, I think Switchfoot concert, Paramore, Australia and Form 2. and Bible Camp. As cheesy as it sounds, Paramore got me through a lot of rough  or not-so-rough nights at that time. They still do, too. but yeah. And it's not like they were unknown at that time. haha. Just not AS popular as they got last year (especially with TWYG). And I was in my 'only listen to indie and lesser known bands' phase. So the popularity thing threw me off a little. I still haven't gotten all that comfortable with it yet. Especially when I read youtube comments and such, I can see what their fanbase is like. I shouldn't stereotype though. ANYWAY. So Paramore is one of the few bands that has left a big mark on me (and that I subconciously memorised the lyrics to their songs so that when I do go for their concert I'll be able to sing along because singing along at a concert with the rest of the crowd is probably one of the best experiences ever). and going to that concert would be amazing (especially since most of the people there would just have heard their singles. It's a thing that happens with foreign artist concerts over here. So I'll be there to represent and meet other cool fans). The end.
(I feel like such a snob typing what I've typed. but that's how I feel. heheh.)

One of the reasons why I love my 'rents is because they give me that push I need to do what is right, especially when I don't want to do it. My mom's always telling me 'don't go by feeling' because I'm a really impulsive person who apparently does things by 'feeling'. That little piece of advice is debatable though. Heheh. BUT anyway. I need to learn not to go too much by feeling. I need to know what is right and do it too. To feel the fear and do it anyway. (not unless it's like... the fear to jump off a cliff but I do it anyway sorta thing. that'd just be crazy.)

(Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo)

I sat down careful and Gloria Dump made me a peanut butter sandwich on white bread.

Then she made one for herself and put her false teeth in, to eat it; when she was done, she said to me, "You know, my eyes ain't too good at all. I can't see nothing but the general shape of things, so I got to rely on my heart. Why don't you go on and tell me everything about yourself, so as I can see you with my heart."

And because Winn-Dixie was looking up at her like she was the best thing he had ever seen, and because the peanut-butter sandwich had been so good, and because I had been waiting for a long time to tell some person everything about me, I did.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to see people solely with your heart?


listening to 

Physicsing

I'm busy looking for youtube videos on physics stuff. Because I really really don't get physics. :( and it's difficult looking for good videos that don't just put text explaining the thingy but you know, like actually SHOW the thingy. and explain and demonstrate. It's cool though how people put up these videos without thinking of earning money or stuff for putting it. At the core of it, youtube is actually memupuk-ing sharing ikhlas-ley. But some of it is not that ikhlas anymore.

Also, I get annoyed when I there are girls calling each other 'babes' and saying 'love ya, babe' or 'hey, love' or 'imysm!!' every single second of the day. It annoys me. and it freaks me out when someone calls me that too. I shouldn't be annoyed though, because these people unlike me, manage to idk.. convey their love or feelings to one another. Even if it is in an annoying form. :)

quote that David Archuleta just tweeted, that I wanted to blog about then realised it had something to do with this post, but actually has everything to do with everything. (if that made sense.)

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us." -Stephen R. Covey

My Girl- not the song

I love this movie sooooo much. Just watched it just now with mom and practically drowned the pillow with mah tears.


*spoilers*
So basically, it's about this I'm-not-sure-how-old girl named Vada Sultenfuss. I think she's 8-ish 9-ish. Her dad's a mortician and his work is at home. Vada's mom died a few days after giving birth to her. So Vada's grandmother took care of her and they were really close and then her grandmother went a little coocoo (and randomly bursts out singing once in a while). Vada's best friend is Thomas J. (the home alone kid.... soo cuuteee.) who happens to be 'intellectually stimulating' haha. They cycle together and talk and play in the forest (which is basically what I dream my childhood was like, or is now, to have a best friend and go cycling places with no worries that someone'll will rape you). Oh yeah, and Vada has a crush on her English teacher, Mr. Bixley. Vada has this thing where she pretends she's sick or dying even though there's nothing wrong with her. She makes regular visits to the doctor and the doctor is really nice and sees her even though there's never anything wrong with her. There's one scene where the reception lady in the clinic is talking to Thomas J. while Vada's with the doctor. She asks him why she keeps visiting the doctor and he says something like she's surrounded by dead people (in her house) so 'if you can't beat em, join em'. I'm not sure if that's the actual reason though. My mom thinks it's cuz she wants attention from her dad. She could also be doing it so that she can join her mom in heaven. Idk. Towards the end of the movie after the most incredibly saddest thing in the whole entire universe happens, she sort of tries to kill herself too, or at least was thinking about it. Gosh, it was so sad. I don't even wanna talk about it. :( Only boring scenes were the ones with her dad and Shelley.
Okay I don't wanna sayyy it. But. Someone died.... and that someone was just a little kid and was so smart and cute. So he died. I was wondering how could such a sweet, innocent kid go to hell? That is if he didn't believe in God, or even thought about God. Does that mean he went to hell? :( God is just and fair. But, you know. I don't know.


There's also a lot of idk what you call it. Where it's like one thing at the beginning and then it changes at the end. Like at the beginning Vada has this mood ring, and it's always black. Vada said it means that she's dying or something lol. and just before the worst-thing-ever happened, Thomas J. went to the forest to look for Vada's mood ring which she lost a while before (sweetest thing ever). And well at the end of the movie Thomas J's mom gave the mood ring back to Vada and now it's not black, it's blue. :)
also lots of other stuff... you'll just have to watch the movie when you come over to my house.


quotes from the movie. :) but you wouldn't get it if you haven't seen the movie.


Vada: I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls. Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas I got them a camper and all they wanted to do was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over the cliff.


Vada: I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet seat at a truck stop and caught hemorrhoids. And I've learned to live with this chicken bone that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years. So I knew Dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction. 
Vada: Dad, I don't want to upset you, but my left breast is developing at a significantly faster rate than my right. It can only mean one thing: cancer. I'm dying. 
Harry: [making a sandwich] Okay, sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge. 


Hippie dude: Feel my aura. 
Vada: I don't think I'm allowed to. 


Vada: Daddy, how come this coffin's so small? 
Harry: They come in all sizes, honey, like shoes. 
Vada: Is it for a child? 
Harry: Of course not! 
Vada: Then for who is it? 
Harry: Short people. Very short people. 


Thomas J: I'm gonna drive us to Liverpool. 
Shelly: Liverpool? 
Vada: Big Ringo fan. 

Vada: [to Thomas J., after getting her first period] Get outta here! And don't come back for five to seven days! 

Vada wrote this and read it out to her Adult English Writing Class, after you know who left.

Weeping willow with your tears running down, 
Why do you always weep and frown?
Is it because he left you one day?
Is it because he could not stay? 
On your branches he would swing,
Do you long for the happiness that day would bring? 
He found shelter in your shade. 
You thought his laughter would never fade. 
Weeping willow, stop your tears. 
There is something to calm you fears. 
You think death has ripped you forever apart. 
But I know he'll always be in your heart. 

Other Side of Down

NEW DAVID ARCHULETA ALBUM TITLE.

CAN YOU TELL I'M EXCITED?

listening to: Stop This Train- John Mayer

You know how they say thinking is good? Idk. Too much of anything isn't good I guess. I feel like I've been thinking too much and not doing enough. And watching too much... and reading. Watching and thinking and reading but not actually doing anything. =/ (ah these high notes of his are killing me... )

I was gonna whip out my journal after not writing in it for like a week or two. but I couldn't find a good pen and I felt too lazy to write anyway because I write much slower than I think out the words so it gets annoying when I get impatient with my slowness? lol. So I'm doing this now. It's less personal I guess sort of in a way. Old school's the way to go. but oh well.

oh hah. I'm feeling John Mayer tonight. Finally. Because I bought Continuum 2 days ago and I wasn't really feeling it when I was playing it. I wasn't in the mood for it I guess. I was in a David Archuleta/ Regina Spektor mood. John Mayer's good for the whole... introspective ambiance. haha. I'm not sure if I used that word right. Anywayy I didn't get any homework done today. Poo. I will wake up early tomorrow to do it. (by early, I mean before noon, haha).

Oh my school band had a concert tonight! I wanted to go, but I didn't want the whole buying-ticket-but-having-no-transport-to-go-in-the-end thing happening again. Aaand I wanted to support my friends who were playing. Oh well. And tomorrow there's a Digi Live concert in the Queensbay parking space place (I saw them setting up for it yesterday) but apparently you need tickets for it. Someone had tickets for it at school but again, I didn't want to take it in case I couldn't go. It's only a 5 minutes drive away from me though! I wish I could drive. Or cycle to places by myself. It'd be good exercise and I'd get to like.. feel the places I passing through. Because everything seems very not real (I can't think of the word for this lol) when you're just looking at it from inside the car. (ah Dreaming With A Broken Heart is playing now... <3 gotta love Dot for suggesting this song, and John Mayer altogether to me. love herrr)
(I want to see what DA has to say about this song in that Musical Appendix of his. I want Chords of Strength.  :( )
(btw have I ever gushed about that one part I love love love in the song where there's like this... dissonance in the second verse for a few seconds.)
'do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?'
Haven't figured out what that line means.
Oh wait, I think I get it. Yayyy, nvm. :)

Uhm so my cousins and aunty and uncle from Canberra just left today but I had to go to school so I couldn't send them off at the airport.They were fun. =/ It was good to be back in school though. It felt nice to be missed and to have friends that actually cared enough to show that they missed me. I don't think I did a very good job of doing vice versa though. I missed them a lot though, I realised today.
The best part was getting to miss PJ because we helped Sree out for some USM compost project thingy where we had to fill out a survey which had like.. really weird questions. Or statements and stuff.

I haven't been communicating much with anyone lately. So maybe I felt deprived of it or something and that's why instead of doing what I usually do, that is keeping to myself unless spoken to (except to certain people who are probably tired of all my ramblings lol), and I actually went up and talked to people. Communication rather than excommunicating actually makes a difference. Rather than just thinking something, say it, cuz it makes a pretty huge difference because you're actually affecting someone. Uhhh my whole paragraph didn't make sense at all but it's like 1 in the morning and I didn't have a nap today so yeahhh.

songs I've been loving:
Angels (album version)- David Archuleta
Stop This Train- John Mayer
A Little Too Not Over You- David Archuleta ( one of those good pop songs.... I love the guitar and the 'eh eh eh's' in the intro and that bass going 3 notes down after the whole eh eh eh sequence... yeaaaaah. and the little strings bits at the end during the last chorus. I knew he wrote co-wrote the song and stuff, but I only just found out today that the basic idea for the song was his, hah. That's nice.)
I also found out something about Touch My Hand. I always thought the song was a little monotonous.... and the steady rhythm was a little boring cuz it go played on the radio so many times but I still liked the song. But not too much. The lyrics I couldn't relate to, I mean who can. The imagery though... haha I like imagining 'sparkle of a million flashlights, a wonderwall of stars'. Sooo haha I found out today that though DA didn't write the song himself, the people like wrote it for him, based on stuff he'd been telling them about what he sees and feels up on stage. He was just telling them, he didn't know they'd turn it into a song lol haha well I thought that was cool. I hope more song stories come with the new songs.

Since this was meant to be a journal entry uhmm there are lots of things people probably don't want to read about. But I don't think anybody will read this anyway so it's okay I guess. Maybe I'll print this out and stick it in my journal... or something. Hah.

btw, the new DA single cover art came out and it is... gosh. I can see why David was raving about this photoshoot because like ahhh. The picture is just SO good. It's so David and he looks so relaxed and he's like... connecting with the camera or something haha. And in the picture his eyes are like.. staring at you. I can't stop staring at the picture. It's really weird. But I've abstained from like... putting it as my wallpaper and stuff. Haha.

I found out that Mom and Dad watched Australia without me thinking I'd already watched it the last time we went to Australia but I didn't. :( I don't like watching movies alone.
Speaking of movies, I watched Eclipse yesterday with Kara and it was good. It was kind of slow at some parts but then not slow at some parts. I wish those kissing scenes weren't so long and frequent though. It's awkward. I feel like I'm intruding their privacy. Or if it doesn't feel real it just looks like two actors sticking their tongues into each other's mouths.

I'm sleepy now. I'll probably edit this in the morning. Cuz I'll probably be like 'what was I thinking?!'. Good night ping pong!

jfkdslfjdslfdjs. So I am in love, DEEPLY in love, with Regina Spektor's music. Like gahhh. No words to describe it. Just so gooood. (btw I'm saying this having not even listened to a single full-length album of hers, only stuff on myspace and youtube, but I swear if I see her album I will most definitely buy it)

This song in particular has been my jam all night.


Last night my jam was http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBI11xV746Q

anyway, how does she do that?! create such a catchy melody that is totally the opposite of generic and put it with like.. great lyrics at the same time. and I like how she using string instruments in her songs. and sing with such cool phrasing and accents and like ahhh. Thank you God for giving us music.

so if anyone's even reading this, and hasn't listened to Regina before, you should. you don't have to, but you should. haha. try Fidelity, Laughing With, Eet, Blue Lips, One More Time With Feeling, Hotel Song and ohhhh! Samson.