I am still tired. But before I end my illegal visit to the Internet,

Someone on the boards posted about this:
krisallen4real Just hung with @jonathanforeman and mike Elizondo writing some sweet muzac. Both these guys are crazy talented.

Heh. AWESOME. I was just thinking the other day how I would love Kris even more if he liked Switchfoot. And now I find out he's writing with Jon. Noice.


Secondly, the awesome Brad posted the extended version of the trailer of The Making of Hello Hurricane, the one that most people including had trouble watching it on the emi blog. Well now I can see it. It made me want to cry. I'll post it later, because I just want to get off the computer now. Here's to not waking up past 9 anymore and to being able to fall asleep before 1 and to keeping up with my study schedule which I am now behind on. Ta!

I am tired.

Kris Allen's new single.

It was written by The Script people, soooo, well, I didn't like it on my first listen. After a few more I liked it. It's not incredibly great or anything, but it's catchy and nice and I think it'll do fine on the radio . Hmm. It sounds too much like The Script for me to love it. Heh. I still love Kris Allen.

oh, and sorry for the annoying nuffnang ads.

I've finished studying Form 1, 2 and 3 Sejarah. So now I'm doing the 08 PMR paper and it is HARD. I'll have to go another round. :( And I only have like 2 weeks left and science and kh and BM and geo to study for. Ahhh. Help!

Also, tis the season to eat rendang, fa la la la la, hariii rayaaaaaa.
I haven't eaten rendang, dodol (ohh, dodol) and lemang in FOREVER. I am craving them right now. I don't think I will be going to any open houses this year though. My BM tuition teacher did tell us to visit whenever we'd like, which was awfully awesome of her. That said, I love Malaysia and the multi-culturalness of it (though I do disagree with the hak istimewa melayu, and some stuff in the form 3 history, which, if I have the time I'll explain my objections to it), and the FOOD. I think some of my friends would tease me about my small show of patriotism right thur, but eh. :)

FREEDOM in 22 days.

[and I am trying to make my blog entries less negative, hence the many edits. x] ]

OH, and btw I found this website, PMR Best , yeah I don't get the name either lol, it's got karangans and stuff and is really useful for people like me who have terrible malay and need to read more modal karangans.

badminton. again.

Today is my older sister's birthday. Just thought I'd put it out there. :D

I snuck in about 5 minutes of badminton just now. My plan to study BM this afternoon has gone down the drain, because it's gonna be 6 now and I'm only just about start chapter 4 of Sejarah.

I like that Thai badminton player. :DDD K. Bon somethinggg. He totally bombed Chen Jin of China just now. And I like anybody who beats China.

And my dad said they (astro super sport) didn't broadcast the Lee Chong Wei-Lin Dan semi-final match. Like WHAT. How could they? So I was sent by my dad to check the Internet if Lin Dan got injured in his match yesterday (because Lin Dan played 3 SETS yesterday and won by like, 2 points or something, that's so not Lin Dan.) and had to cancel his match with Chong Wei. Googled but I couldn't find anything. Geez.

but I think astro just stopped the broadcast. oh wells.

I'm bored again. Banning myself from the boards and facebook and story books is taking its toll on me.

Between this post and my last post, I ate lunch, and studied Perang Saraf. Now I'm on Kesan Darurat and imma try to recall what I read without looking at mah book. :D

So. Kesan Politik.

1. uhmmmm. Syarat kerakyatan dilonggarkan to get the support of the non-malays in fighting the communists.
2. [shh. i looked.] The Undang-undang Darurat that was enforced also helped to membendung parti-parti politik berhaluan kiri even though they are not communists.
3. fasten the kemerdekaan/ taraf berkerajaan sendiri process. I don't really get this one, according to the textbook, the British promised to menyegerakan pemberian kemerdekaan to Malaya. By giving Malay independence, PKM will longer have a reason for continuing their perjuangan. WHAT. I don't get how that relates. Anyway.

4. MCA that was founded helped get the Chinese more involved in parti-parti berhaluan KANAN and so change the other people's negative views of the Chinese as communists. Because, well, not all of them were communists. Such as my grandfather.

That's all, politically. Now on to the kesan-kesan terhadap ekonomi.

1. Ekonomi terjejas. (because the communists destroyed all the lombongs and ladangs and stuffas)
2. Perjuangan menentang komunis had menelankan perbelanjaan yang besar. (in buying peralatan ketenteraan and to mengukuhkan the sistem ketenteraan)
3. The kerajaan had to memperbesarkan the Home Guard team, pasukan keselamatan and increase the number of policemen.
4. Because the kerajaan was too busy focusing on devoloping the Kampung Baru's, they ended up neglecting the development of kawasan luar bandar.

[urgh. my track mania download stopped midway. AGAIN.]

Nooww. Socially.

1. Many many many many many many many MANY people were killed. Anggota pasukan keselamatan, pengganas komunis and orang awam.

2. The penduduk had a hard time moving about and getting food too because they had to follow all the undang-undang. Those living luar bandar tidak dapat menjalankan aktiviti harian.

a. Because of the larangan perintah berkurung, pekebun kecil couldn't mengusahakan their kawasan pertanian.
b. Because of the catuan bekalan makanan, they were forced to depend on lame, untasty food such as ubi and keledek. (like what they had to go through during the Japanese invasion)

3. Masalah hubungan kaum. So, usaha ke arah kerjasama kaum was done by establishing the Community Liaison Committe (CLC)/ Jawatankuasa Hubungan Antara Kaum.
The matlamat of the CLC is to menjalin hubungan yang erat antara penduduk berbilang kaum in Malaya.

4. The kerajaan introduced the Dasar Pelajaran Kebangsaan.
a. the kerajaan hoped that the locally orientated sukatan pelajaran will instil perasaan cinta akan tanah air in the students.
b. they thought that using the same bahasa pengantar will inculcate persefahaman between our community of many races.

THE END.

Sejarah Chapter 3 pula, Ancaman Parti Komunis Malaya and Darurat.

Srsly, they should have put THAT picture in our textbooks. I love it. Bahah. Anywayyy.

Intro.

In this chapter we will see kesungguhan kerajaan British membanteras ancaman komunis to mewujudkan keamanan and kesejahteraan. aaaand the kerajaan needs sokongan rakyat (that's us!) in menghapus-ing pengganas komunis.

also, permuafakatan antara kerajaan and rakyat is the most effective weapon in menhadapi-ing bahaya fahaman komunis.

[Btw, the dude in the picture is Karl Marx. He wrote The Communist Manifesto, Das Capital and The German Ideology.]

3.1 Penyusupan and Kegiatan Pengganas Komunis

Communism was established in the mid 19th century by Karl Marx. Communism is a fahaman menentang golongan feudal (sistem kemasyarakatan yg dikuasai oleh golongan bangsawan) and golongan imperialis (countries that menjajah and mengenakan kuasa pemerintahan on other countries too) and they want to replace that system with pemerintahan yang berasaskan communism.

So basically, communism is being against golongan feudal and imperialis.

They fight for masyarakat with no class, memiliknegarakan tanah and perindustrian.

The Ai Lyn translation: These communists are fighting for equality for everyone, no upper-class, lower class thing, and I think memiliknegarakan tanah means not letting other countries take hold of your country.

Countries that menganuti communism is Russia and China.

In 1919, Communist International (Comintern) or Pertubuhan Komunis Antarabangsa mengarahkan-ed European communist parties to spread the communism ideology to the rest of the world.

Cara penyusupan.

In Malaya, communism was spread through Parti Kuomintang (KMT) and Parti Komunis Nanyang. Communism agents spread dakyah komunis among the Chinese through kesatuan sekerja, persatuan-persatuan, night classes and publishing?

Among the Malays, they tried to spread communism through Parti Komunis Indonesia (PKI) from 1924 till 1930.

HOWEVERRRR, the Malays did NOT like the communism understanding because....

1. It is against the Islamic principals (atheist) and is against adat resam org Melayu.

2. Communists used kekerasan and kezaliman to mencapai their matlamat.

All this stuff apparently is opposing Islam in every way. So, naturally, the malays are against communism. The End.

I think I'm going to ringkaskan the rest of the chapter and only put stuff that has a possibility of coming out in PMR.

PKM. (Parti Komunis Malaya)

-ditubuhkan in 1930.

Tujuan PKM ditubuhkan is to menubuhkan Republik Komunis Malaya. (their matlamat is to turn Malaya into a communist country :o :o :o )

PKM trained a number of kader (cadets?) and menyusup/infiltrated kesatuan sekerja, they even tried to bertapak in Sarawak but they failed.

*Kader- A new member of a political party that is trained to be a penyokong yg taat setia.

Menjelang tahun 1935, PKM's activities became more aggressive. PKM melancarkan mogok and sabotaj to melumpuhkan ekonomi British di Tanah Melayu.

[ the paling hebat one was when they did some mogok and took over a arang batu mine in Batu Arang, Selangor. The British sent the police to end the mogok. All the pemimpins that were involved in that mogok were sent home to China. Following that incident, PKM leaders were arrested.

Also, when the Japanese invaded Tanah Melayu, PKM offered kerjasama to the British to attack Japan. [as opposed to KMM, who helped Jepun defeat the Brits]

PKM members were trained in taktik perang gerila* in Sekolah Latihan Khas 101 in Singapore.

PKM formed the MPAJA (Malayan People's Anti-Japanese Army).

The British membekalkan senjata to the MPAJA through Force 136.

*perang gerila, apparently is this war tactic where one person goes and kills another single person on the opposing side and then runs away. yepyep.

After the war (the Brish-Japan war in Malaya) ended, Pentadbiran Tentera British asked MPAJA to membubarkan themselves and hand over their weapons.

PKM agreed to membubarkan MPAJA, hoever, they didn't return ALL the weapons, but kept and hid some of them.

Oh, and those MPAJA people who gave back their weapon was handed 350 DOLLARS and received one bag of rice from the Brits.

What happened to PKM then? They menyusuped in kesatuan sekerja and started being terlibat secara active in pergerakan politik.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, we shall see some acts of keganasan by these communists in Malaya.

In 1948, a few wakil PKM went for the Persidangan Pemuda Komunis Asia that was held in Calcutta, India. That persidangan encouraged the communist parties to hold pemberontakans bersenjata to mencapai their matlamat.

Hasil from the Persidangan Pemuda Komunis Asia, a unit gerila known as Malayan Races Liberation Army (MRLA) was formed.

Soooo, because of that Persidangan Pemuda Komunis Asia, PKM started doing pemberontakans by attacking ladangs and lombongs owned by European companies. They also attacked police stations, they burnt factories, buses, spoilt rail roads and killed people who bersubahat with the Brits.

(in ladangs they made takikan on the rubber trees so that the rubber cannot be tapped and so the economy will... not do so well. hah.)

(there also destoryed a ladang in Kampung Simpang Tiga, Sitiawan, Perak because the villagers enggan bekerjasama.)

3.2 Langkah Membantera Ancaman Komunis

1. Pengisytiharan darurat.

Some pengganas komunis killed 3 european pengurus ladang in Sg. Siput, Perak. This peristiwa menggemparkan the Brits and so Sir Edward Gent (the Pesuruhjaya Tinggi British) mengisytiharkan a darurat in Malaya.

This darurat, according to my oh so beloved textbook, not, was to melindungi kepentingan ekonomi British in Malaya.

Following this pengisytiharan, Undang-undang Darurat 1948 dikuatkuaskan.

This law states that the kerajaan can

1. Arrest whoever is suspected to be involved in communist activities.

2. Menggeledah rumah kediaman.

3. Memindahkan penduduk ke penempatan baru.

4. Memagarkan kawasan kampung that is suspected to have villagers helping the pengganas komunis.

2. Pengharaman Parti Komunis Malaya dan Parti Berhaluan Kiri.

Next, the kerajaan BANNED PKM.

Also, the Brits mengambil kesempatan mengharamkan parti-parti politik berfahaman kiri that were fighting for independence.

AWAS- Angkatan WAnita Sedar

PETA- Ikatan Pemuda Tanah Air Melayu

PERAM- Pemuda Radikal Melayu

PKMM- Parti Kebangsaan Melayu Malaya.

Hizbul Muslimin.

Note: From all this you must have noticed that the majority of Malayans supporting communism are the Chinese. Why the chinese? Because they want to take revenge on the Malays who menjadi tali barut during the Japanese rule (the Japanese killed a lot of Chinese because of the Perang China-Jepun).

3. Memperbesar pasukan keselamatan.

The kerajaan also meperbesar the pasukan tentera and police. The police team was restructured and made to have 7000 officers.

The Brits also brought in soldiers from the other Commenwealth countries especially from Australia, New Zealand, Africa Timur and Fiji to menghapuskan ancaman komunis in Malaya.

Besides that, the kerajaan also menubuhkan pasukan Home Guard di peringkat kampung to held the pasukan polis and tentera to menjaga keselamatan.

This Home Guard team was made up of men and women.

Penubuhan pasukan Home Guard telah meniupkan semangat yang berkobar-kobar dalam kalangan rakyat to mempertahankan negara.

Kesanggupan and keberanian org Melayu berlawan dengan pengganas komunis impressed the Pesuruhjaya Tinggi British (Sir Henry Gurney) at the time.

24 000 orang Mata-mata Khas Melayu (Special Constables) were trained and send to mengawal ladang and kawasan lombong yang terpencil.

Pasukan keselamatan also bombed and melakukan serangan hendap to the kawasan that became sarang komunis with the help of the Tentera Udara British.

5. Rancangan Briggs.

Rancangan Briggs was launched by Sir Henry Gurney in 1950.

Sir Harold Rowdon Briggs was picked to be the Pengarah Operasi.

This Rancangan Briggs involved penempatan semula penduduk di kawasan pinggir hutan ke kaawasan penempatan baru (Kampung Baru)

Rancangan Briggs's objective is to menyekat bekalan makanan, wang, maklumat and ubat-ubatan to the pihak komunis. This plan was terribly effective in melumpuhkan gerakan Min Yuen.

*Min Yuen

-ditubuhkan oleh PKM to memberi maklumat, makanan and ubat-ubatan to the pengganas komunis. A lot of them were pekerja lombong and ladang.

1. Through Rancangan Briggs, more than 400 000 penduduk setinggan Cina were moved to moved to about 400 kampung baru's through out Malaya.

These kampung baru's were equipped with kemudahan asas like houses, schools, medical facilities and pipe water.

2. They were also fenced with kawat berduri and dikawal by the Special Constable.

3. In every kampung baru, each family is given a kad catuan makanan to ensure every family received enough bekalan makanan (just enough, so there will be no extra food for the communists).

4. Pergerakan keluar masuk penduduk dikawal selia pada setiap masa.

5. "Gerakan Kelaparan". This program was to ensure the communists don't obtain any makanan, senjata, maklumat and ubat-ubatan. (+weapons)

6. Briggs supported penubuhan MCA (Malayan Chinese Association) to help the setinggan Cina menjalani kehidupan in their new kampungs. MCA held kutipan derma through jualan loteri kebajikan. The money went to penduduk setinggan Cina in the kampung baru's.

7. Sekatan jalan raya was held to prevent makanan, maklumat and ubat-ubatan from reaching the communists because the communists would have to come out from their hiding places to get food. [ the pasukan keselamatan, police and Home Guards worked together to hold these sekatan jalan raya's to memulihkan keamanan in Malaya]

8. The kerajaan also introduced sistem pendaftaran kebangsaan to mengawal pergerakan penduduk. Every kid aged 12 years and above have to register and be given a kad pengenalan to membezakannya from the pengganas komunis.

Rancangan Briggs succeeded in melumpuhkan rangkaian gerakan PKM.

In the Mesyuarat Jawatankuasa Pusat in Pahang, PKM decided to mengurangkan kekejaman to the public and retreated to South Thailand.

Ahhh. My eyes sakit adi. That's it for chapter 3.

hello hurricane trailer

So. Just before I was about to get off, I sneaked to LOBH.

teaser trailer! for the making of HH. Gosh, The Sound sounds so good. Hahah. There was a Bullet Soul riff in there too... and according to Jeanna the song playing towards the end is Your Love Is A Song. AHH.

*vacuums*

oh, and Switchfooot tweeted my tweet! yay! about the Mess of Me CD location. Yupyupyup. Last time I checked the CD's still there. Geez. Heh. *runs off to study*

Sejarah- Chapter 1- Pendudukan Jepun di Negara Kita

Heheh.

Introduction.

Penduduk Jepun happens to be a very important peristiwa in our nation's history. Pemerintahan tentera Jepun in our country berlangsung for about 3 years and a half that is from the 15th of February 1942 till 12 September 1945. The big changes that happened throughout that period of pure torture had menyemarakkan semangat kebangsaan in the rakyat.

1.1 Pemerintahan Tentera Jepun

Pemerintahan tentera Jepun in our country was bercorak ketenteraan.

Kedatangan Jepun/ Japan's arrival

(oh my gosh my first (well not first, first in a long time, like since I was 12) html thing. yes. blogger doesn't provide the underline option)

Japan's rise as a kuasa imperialis started with the rule of Maharaja Mikado Meiji* in 1868. This Meiji dude launched a pemulihan for Japan that stressed on modernisation and industrialisation (pemodenan dan perindustrian).

Negara-negara Barat were used as models to memajukan Jepun.

CHINA that had a lot of bahan mentah dan had the potential to become pasaran barangan Jepun was one of Japan's early perluasan kuasa targets.

Japan's win over Russia in the Perang Rusia-Jepun in 1905 menyebabkan Jepun dianggap as a kuasa besar.

*Maharaja Mikado Meiji memerintah Japan from 1868 till 1912. He managed to memodenkan Japan within 30 years through a gerakan known as Pemulihan Meiji.

Perluasan kuasa Jepun until Perang Dunia Kedua (WW2):-

1895- Japan won the 1st Perang China-Jepun

1905- Japan won the Perang Rusia-Jepun

1910- Japan conquered Korea

1932- Japan menakluki Manchuria

1937- Japan won the 2nd Perang China-Jepun

1941- Japan menduduki Indo-China

1941- Japan menyerang Asia Tenggara (which is us)

Faktor-faktor perluasan kuasa Jepun.

1. MASALAH EKONOMI in Japan.

2. The pertambahan penduduk Jepun caused the tanah pertanian to berkurangan.

3. As an industrial country, Japan needed bekalan bahan mentah like petroleum, bijih timah and getah.

4. Japan needs kawasan pasaran baru to memasarkan their hasil industri.

AND, things got more desperate in 1940, when Amerika Syarikat mengenakan a sekatan ekonomi towards Japan for not wanting to move out of China.

Japan managed to get a part of China when the Perang China-Jepun meletus in 1937.

America's tindakan caused ----> golongan tentera pimpinan Jeneral Tojo to attack Asia Tenggera to free Japan from said sekatan.

(this golongan tentera took over Japan's pemerintahan since Feb 1936)

Now, before attacking Tanah Melayu, the Japanese used propagandas to mempengaruhi penduduk tempatan in our country with slogans such as "Asia Utk Org Asia" and "Semangat Asia".

These slogans were obviously anti-penjajah Barat and menonjolkan Japan's image as pembela negara-negara Timur. So was with the "Kawasan Kesemakmuran Bersama Asia Timur Raya" plan by the Japanese.

This strategy worked till the presence of the the Japanese soldiers weren't even felt as the new penjajahs replacing the British.

This peristiwa gives us the iktibar that good slogans are needed in melaksanakan a misi. (WHAT.)

aaaand, however, as responsible citizens, we should berhati-hati terhadap propaganda from outside.

*Asia Untuk Orang Asia

Asia is for Asians and should not be dijajah by kuasa Barat. As proof, Japan did not attack Thailand because they were not jajahed by Barat.

*Semangat Asia

Asian countries have their own kekuatan and jati diri to menghadapi cabarans.

*Kawasan Kesemakmuran Bersama Asia Timur Raya

Japan's plan to mewujudkan a zon ekonomi yang makmur that is led by them. (covering Machuria to Australia and the Pacific ocean to Teluk Benggala (near Sri Lanka, India there)

Kemaraan tentera Jepun in Tanah Melayu started when the Japanese soldiers landed simultaneously in Thailand (Singgora and Pattani then to Jitra) and in Pantai Sabak, Kota Bharu on the 8th of December 1941.

Then the Japanese soldiers separated into 2 groups, 1 group headed to Penang continued their journey south through the west coast, and the 2nd group headed through the bandar-bandar utama in the negeri-negeri Barat.

In the mean time, the tentera Jepun in Kota Bharu mara-ed South through jalan darat in negeri-negeri pantai Timur.

*********

(somewhere near Kuantan) The ships "Repulse" and "Prince of Wales" ditenggelamkan on 10 December 1941 by the tentera berani mati Jepun. These two ships were British ships on the mission to menyekat kemaraan tentera Jepun.

In Sarawak, the Japanese landed in Miri. From Miri, they separated and one team went to Kuching and then Sibu. The second team went to Sabah through Labuan and then to Sandakan.

Then, the Japanese soldiers went through kawasan pesisiran pantai for both of the states especially through the bandar-bandar besar.

Hmm. I'm bored. I think I'll go study properly now.

HH

AH. So I'm not supposed to be online but I do go to landofbrokenhearts.org to keep up with the SF news. And wow, today Jeanna posted the song stories. EEP. AKI the amazing found it and e-mailed it to Jeanna so here it is. Wow. ( Source link.)

Neways. So taken from LOBH.org post,

*spoiler warning, if you don't want to read it till you get the CD*

SWITCHFOOT
Hello Hurricane

THE SONGS
By Jon Foreman


"The storms of this life shatter our plans. They tear through our world and destroy our hopes and dreams. They ruin sunny days, flatten the structures we depend on, and shock our world views. Hello Hurricane is an attempt to sing into the storm. Hello Hurricane is a declaration: you can't silence my love. My plans will fail, the storms of this life will come, and chaos will disrupt even my best intentions, but my love will not be destroyed. Beneath the sound and the fury there is a deeper order still- deeper than life itself. An order that cannot be shaken by the storms of this life. There is a love stronger than the chaos, running underneath us- beckoning us to go below the skin-deep externals, beyond the wind, even into the eye of the storm. Hello Hurricane, you're not enough- you can't silence my love.

I've seen storms in my life. I've even seen them pass through on stage. I've witnessed chaos and dissonance overtake a song. But after the rain, some of these unsettling musical experiences become my favorite moments: the ones that can't be planned, rehearsed, or repeated. I've had a few of these unexpected elations up in a tiny LA club called Hotel Cafe playing cover tunes with a few of my friends/musical heroes. The organizer of the evenings was none other than friend/hero Tom Morello, the Night Watchman himself who would invite his friends (Slash, Ben Harper, Serj Tankian, Perry Farrell, etc.) to join him in the musical festivities. The nights would usually end with a memorable grand finale of cover songs with everyone onstage playing songs that were only partly rehearsed. Most the time the results were spectacular- other times we would have to stop the evening to figure out logistics like who was going to play what and determine what key we were going to be playing in. It was during one of these pauses that Tom said a quote about music that I'll never forget. He said music is like sausage. "Sometimes you want to enjoy it without knowing the details of what goes into it."

There may be some who want this type of experience: to enjoy the music of Hello Hurricane without knowing the back-story. Maybe the blood, sweat, and tears make you a little squeamish. I completely understand this sentiment. There were stormy, (though necessary) moments during the recording process that were neither graceful nor pretty. This was not an easy record to make; we were fighting to get somewhere we had never been. Looking back at the ground we covered I'm certain that every moment (even the more difficult ones) were meaningful to the final push. But it certainly was a push... so if you want the shiny new music detached from the labor pains, turn back now! For everyone else, here are a few of the stories behind each song. I'm so honored to have been a part of this record- to share these experiences with Tim, Chad, Drew, Jerome and everyone else who helped in the struggle for excellence. In many ways, these songs are like children to me and I'm honored to be able to introduce you to them first-hand. 



NEEDLE AND HAYSTACK LIFE

The world begins
with newborn skin
we are right now

you're a needle girl
in a haystack world
we are right now

you breathe it in
the highs and lows
we call it living

in this needle and haystack life
I've found miracle's there in your eyes
It's no accident we're here tonight
we are once in a lifetime

no, don't let go
don't give up hope
all is forgiven

you breathe it in
the highs and lows
we call it living

all is not lost
all is not lost
become who you are
it happens once in a lifetime


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle" - Einstein

Here's a song that epitomizes the way that we recorded this record, pushing at every stage to reach a higher ground. There are several iterations of this song, each of them with a radically different approach- a method we never had the time for until we built our own studio. One of the reasons we built our own studio was to enable productive experimentation like this without paying for it by the hour. We first tracked this tune with a long time friend named Shane Wilson (we did our very first SF record with Shane). Then we revisited this song again with another friend of ours, Darryl Thorpe (Radiohead, Paul McCartney). For both of these versions the song was cut at half time (rather than the frenetic double-time pace that's on the record). Upon reviewing the list of songs with Mike Elizondo, "Needle" felt too similar in tempo and feel to "Yet" (a tune on the final list for the record). So it was scrapped from the list of tunes for the record. Because we recorded more than 80 songs for this record, we had a lot of songs to push to the side. Mike's objective input on determining which songs not to work on was invaluable. I had learned to really trust his instincts and agreed whole-heartedly with most the final list that he had suggested. He was right that "Needle" and "Yet" on the same record made the record much sleepier. However, "Needle" kept coming back to Tim and I as an important track.

So we put it aside for a week or two to see if it would return (the best ones always come back around). I kept coming back to the content of the lyric. All of the concepts behind the song - hope against the backdrop of chaos and meaninglessness, recognizing the value of every human life -these felt so existentially motivating. "Needle" felt like a song that I wanted to sing every night. And I felt like it could be done with an element of the horizon built into the song. So, onstage in Vegas we worked up the song in sound-check, recorded the idea into a cell phone, and came back with a fresh direction for the tune.

Drew came up with an ingenious idea for a unique guitar tone. We played the electric guitar through an amp, miked the amp with an acoustic guitar (in open tuning of the key of the song), plugged the acoustic guitar into another amp and recorded the signal from that second amp. The result was so expansive and dramatic I felt like it should start the record. So that's what you hear at the top: a sweet amalgamation of electric and acoustic madness.

This song makes me think of abundant, overflowing life. The math involved for life to be possible at all is staggering. Let alone beauty. love. joy. forgiveness. To hold someone in your arms is to hold a living, breathing miracle. At any age, this life is a gift.


MESS OF ME

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
there ain't no drug that they can sell
there ain't no drug to make me well

there ain't no drug
there ain't no drug
it's not enough
the sickness is myself

I've made a mess of me
I want to get back the rest of me
I've made a mess of me
I want to spend the rest of my life alive

we lock our souls in cages
we hide inside our shells
it's hard to free the ones you love
when you can't forgive yourself

I've made a mess of me
I want to reverse this tragedy
I've made a mess of me
I want to spend the rest of my life alive

"He not busy being born is busy dying." - Bob Dylan

"You were born a white man in mid-twentieth century industrial America. You came into the world armed to the teeth with an arsenal of weapons. The weapons of privilege, racial privilege, sexual privilege, economic privilege. You wanna be a pacifist, it's not just giving up guns and knives and clubs and fists and angry words, but giving up the weapons of privilege, and going into the world completely disarmed. Try that." - Ammon Hennessy

Lyrically the song is yearning for abundant life to spring from past mistakes. The song attempts to explore the darkest parts of the human animal and transcend them, rising above these gloomy moments to find true life. If you're Freud, you call these darker urges the death drive. If you're St. Paul, you talk about doing the things you don't want to do. Whatever you call them, these dark places destroy us if we leave them unchecked. I feel that tension everyday, between the right and the wrong, between life and death. And yet there is no easy path to freedom from self. It’s a narrow road and few find it. We've all thought about the quick fix: that special something/someone that could take the pain away. Yet the problems in my life are much bigger than any temporary solution. We die a little everyday- physically, spiritually; we are in sorry shape. Ain't no drug to make me well. Ain't no drug that can relieve me from the monster of myself. Ain't no one to blame. But my decision is made. I want to follow this through... I want to spend the rest of my life alive.

This tune has lived several lives all revolving around the guitar hook. It started out as a song called "I Saw Satan (Fall Like Lightning)" I wrote it a couple years back when I was stealing heavily from scripture. We dragged it into the studio with Charlie Peacock for a week of recording at Big Fish Studios and came out with a really great bridge. Then we wrote a new chorus, called the song "There Ain't No Drug" and built the verse lyrics around the new chorus. We made the bridge the chorus after that. (And at this point I was about as lost as you, dear reader. These are the limitations of having no limitations!) So we stepped away from this song. We knew it was a great one, we were just too inside it. When we came back to it we realized that we were really close... we just needed the final push- so we re-tracked everything at Mike's place. Tim was the champion of this tune: lifting it from one phase to the next, never giving up on the riff. I'm really proud of Tim for pushing through till the final version that ended up on the record.


YOUR LOVE IS A SONG

I hear you breathing in
another day begins

the stars are falling out
my dreams are fading now, fading out

I've been keeping my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my eyes wide open

your love is a symphony
all around me
running through me

your love is a melody
underneath me
running to me

your love is a song

the dawn is fire bright
against the city lights

the clouds are glowing now
the moon is blacking out

I've been keeping my mind wide open
I've been keeping my mind wide open

your love is a song

with my eyes wide open
I've got my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my hopes unbroken


"But the beauty of Einstein's equations, for example, is just as real to anyone who's experienced it as the beauty of music. We've learned in the 20th century that the equations that work have inner harmony." -Edward Witten

"I would believe only in a God that knows how to Dance." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked." -Viktor Frankl

For me, melody is a constant. I am always buzzing with some hook or rhythm or idea... (for example, I've got an idea in my head now from when I went surfing a few hours ago). Sometimes I imagine the entire universe as a song, or an incredibly elaborate symphony- the sun is setting, there's a kid staring at the evening train going by. People are falling in love. Fathers are apologizing to their sons after years of unspoken silence. Children are looking for the approval that only a mother can give. I think of life as an interwoven and interconnected masterpiece. It's like Lauren Hill and Kierkegaard say- everything effects everything.

Alongside these beautiful, pure notes there are elements of horrific dissonance. Parts of the symphony where the musicians are not following the score. To our shame, ours is a world of slavery, bigotry, and hate. Of Rwanda. Of Darfur. These atonal catastrophes on our Darkwater Planet would destroy the song if they could. But love is a stronger song. Alongside the dissonance there is hope. There is forgiveness and joy singing alongside of hatred and despair. The song is still being written. Everyday we choose whether we will submit to the score to sing along with love.

When I found out about the string theory it made a lot of sense. I pictured all the universe vibrating. Some instruments are out of tune. Some are not following the conductor. But love conquers a multitude of errors. Your love can cover even the atrocities that I've committed in my own life, even the times when my actions are horribly out of tune. Yes, even these have been mercifully forgiven and brought into the song.

There are reoccurring themes in my life. Because I write about the things I'm wrestling, these themes often find themselves in multiple songs. I used fight against this concept. Now I see these songs as interconnected, sequels in a real life documentary. One idea that I'm continually wresting with is the concept that the creator of heavens and earth would love a wreck like myself. This idea has been the seed for a few of my songs, they are a trilogy of sorts: "Let Your Love Be Strong," "Your Love is Strong," and "Your Love is a Song."

I wrote this song with Mike Elizondo the first day we worked together. The pre-chorus hook was the seed for the rest of it. Mike was great about sitting back and letting me chew on something until I got it. It was as though we were looking at the same thing from different vantage points, mine was the micro scope- his the telescope. So he would guide the song from a bird's eye view away from some of the dangerous places while I was trudging along with the particulars. I love writing with people, you learn so much about who they are in the process. I learned enough from this song that I trusted Mike's instincts a lot.


THE SOUND (JOHN M. PERKINS BLUES)

The static comes in slow
You can feel it grow
Our stream of conscience flows
Under the streets below

The rivers made of sound
Still running underground
Runs like a silent flood
we run as thick as blood

can you hear it rise
up from the ground
can't drown it out
can you hear it now

this is the sound
of a heartbeat
this is the sound
from the discontented mouths
of a haunted nation
we are the voice of breaking
down
can you hear me?
this is the sound
of the desperation bound
by our own collision
we are the voice of breaking
down

the static comes alive
beneath the broken skies
john perkins said it right
love is the final fight

let it rise above
rise above
there is no song
louder than love


"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do." -Anne Lamott

"When we talk about heaven we talk about all people praising God together. Well, I didn't meet many people down here that were Christians that were trying to make that happen." -John Perkins

This was the last minute addition to the record. When we were making the final list, I showed this song to Tim (he's my first line of defense- If it gets past Tim, then there's a chance we'll track it). He was as excited as I was. We wanted to have a song with a steady, relentless pulse on the record and we all knew that this one fit the bill. The chorus was originally much more of a straightforward lyric, maybe too much so. So we redid the chorus and began to rewrite the verse lyrics to match the chorus vibe.

Lyrically, I feel like this song is a corollary of Hello Hurricane. I was reading a book at the time, Let Justice Roll Down- it's the autobiography of John Perkins, given to me by a friend of mine. I was struck by Perkins’ honesty and humility. He describes the Jim Crow world of not so very long ago with brutal honesty. We are a haunted nation. Whether we admit it or not, the past runs through our veins. Listen to the streets, they'll tell you the same. We can cover up our racism and narrow-minded bigotry with excuses and time but the sins of the past cry out from the ground. The undercurrents from our history are always buzzing around our ears. But rising above the constant gnawing of past wrongs is the song of Love. Love is the reconciliation. The deliberate act of forgiveness. The deliberate act of moving forward unencumbered by the past. This is the sound. This is the sound.



ENOUGH TO LET ME GO

Oh
I'm a wandering soul
I'm still walking the line that leads me home
alone
All I know
I still got mountain to climb
on my own
on my own

Do you love me enough to let me go?
to let me follow through
to let me fall for you
Do you love me enough to let me go?

Back from the dead of winter
back from the dead and all our leaves are dry
you’re so beautiful, tonight

back from the dead we went through
back from the dead and both our tongues are tied
you look beautiful tonight

but every seed dies before it grows

breathe it in
and let it go
every breath you take is not your to own
it's not your to hold
Do you love me enough to let me go?


"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." -Carl Jung

"Faith is the highest passion in a human being. Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further." -Soren Kierkegaard

This one started with the guitar hook I came up with during sound-check; however, most of the song took shape in a hotel room in Australia. I was thinking about how love (not just lust or codependency that commonly flood the tunes on the airways) actually involves quite a bit of faith. There's a lot of letting go involved. Two souls in love is an intricate dance of give and take. I can be a fairly solitary person from time to time. Sure, I love being with people, but I also need time alone. I guess I thrive on the poles. So this song is about the dance involved in a relationship the coming together and letting go. The song equates love with breathing- pulling in and releasing. Or a seed, for the seed to grow it has to be dropped and buried.

In our barcode media, love is often portrayed as consumption. As consumers in a commercial driven culture we can begin to view other souls as objects, or potential cures for our deepest fears and insecurities. "Perhaps if I found the right lover I would no longer feel this deep existential despair." But of course no human soul could be the Constant Other, the face that will never go away. Only the infinite can fill that role. But the silence can be deafening. It's a fearful thing to be alone. Do you love me enough to let me go? "I can't live without you"- "I would die if you ever left me"- These are not the songs of love, these are the songs of consumption.



FREE

I've got my back against the wall
But I still hear the blue sky call

The chains that hold me back inside
are the prisons of my mind

free,
come set me free
down on my knees
I still believe you can save me from me
come set me free
come set me free
inside this shell
there's a prison cell

I try to live the light of day
why would I do what I hate

But when try to reach above
I only I hurt the ones I love

there's a hole in the neighborhood
where the shadows fall

there's a hole in my heart but my hope
is not in me at all

I had a dream that my chains were broken
broken, broken, broken open
free


"There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires... there is no such thing as part freedom." - Nelson Mandela

"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." -Soren Kierkegaard

I'm pretty sure that I wrote this one in an elevator. Tim says that the seed of it was written by the time the elevator ride was over. I don't remember that, I just wanted to have a song on the record (and live) that captured a reinterpretation of the blues. From the moment I started playing guitar I was hooked on Led Zeppelin, BB King, and Hendrix. Wes Montgomery came later. I wanted to have a simple throbbing, pulsing song on the record that epitomized the songs I played in Jr. High.

The concept of this song is fairly simple. I am trapped by myself. I am a man who is bounded by his own lusts and vices, yearning to be free of these hindrances. We are enslaved to our passing desires that are often more swayed by our environment than our own volition. Most of what we call our "choices" are simply reactions. Free thought is incredibly rare. Who can know the darkest parts within himself? This unspoken and nameless prison is the bane of the "free" world, the hole in the neighborhood. We are in the chains of debt, the chains of consumption, enslaved by our lusts, our fears, and our past. The truth will set you free but it's only slightly less scary than hell and a whole lot harder to get there. There is no outer freedom until we have chosen to be free inside.

Lyrically I feel like this song is the brother of "Mess of Me." Yearning for a life beyond what I have. Hoping for freedom. Still yearning to get there. "I had a dream that my chains were broken... broken open." I'm still running hard for this goal. 




HELLO HURRICANE

I've been watching the skies
they've been turning blood red
not a doubt in my mind anymore
there's a storm up ahead

hello hurricane
you're not enough
hello hurricane
you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows
boarded up
all your dead end fury is
not enough
you can't silence my love

every thing I have I count as loss
everything I have is stripped away
before I started building
I counted up these costs
there's nothing left for you to take away

hello hurricane
you can't silence my love

I'm a fighter fighting for control
I'm a fighter fighting for my soul
everything inside of me surrenders
you can't silence my love

hello hurricane
you can't silence my love

"Love does not alter the beloved, it alters itself." -Soren Kierkegaard

"The capitalist culture of consumption... does not provide meaningful sustenance for large numbers of people." -Cornel West

This is a subject matter that I speak of with holy reverence. Having grown up on the East Coast I know firsthand of the houses lost, of the dreams turned into nightmares. I take my shoes off and recognize that this is a matter that is dear to our nation, especially of late- with every passing hurricane season. Last year, with Habitat for Humanity we helped to build a house for a woman who lost everything in Hurricane Katrina. The hurricane had taken her city, her house, and her leg. As she relocated to Baton Rouge and learned how to walk as an amputee, her mantra was this: "I walked out of my house and my life in New Orleans on my own legs, I'm going to walk into this one the same way." This is the spirit that I wanted to capture with this song, and moreover with this record. The storms of life might take my house, my loved ones, or even my life- but they cannot silence my love.

Yes, the reactionary impulses of hate, fear, and despair really are defenseless against the storms of this life. And yet, this selfless love really might be stronger than death. Perhaps, the kingdom of the heavens really is at hand, ready to give, ready to love. And with this love as my song I will overcome. In surrender to divine love I will find my strength. "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love another."


ALWAYS

this is the start
this is your heart
this is the day you were born
this is the sun
these are your lungs
this is the day you were born

and I am always yours

these are the scars
deep in your heart
this is the place you were born
this is the hole
where most of your soul
comes ripping out
from the places you've been torn

and it is always yours
but I am always yours

hallelujah!
I'm caving in
hallelujah!
I'm in love again
hallelujah!
I'm a wretched man
hallelujah!
every breath is a second chance

and it is always yours
and I am always yours

Everything can be taken from a man but ... the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." -Viktor Frankl

“Everything alive must die. Every building built to the sky will fall. Don't try to tell me my everlasting love is a lie.” -Jeff Tweedy

I am continually searching for meaning in my life. Why am I here? Why is there so much pain? This cold, dark stream of sorrow runs through my life. Why does it run alongside of the warm beautiful waters of joy and beauty? Why do the two rivers collide and intertwine? The dark and the light. The death and the life... Most of my songs become outlets for these questions. The music becomes place for the cognitive dissonance to chew away at something other than a broken heart or an ulcer. The music becomes a place to sort through the dark and the light. I love crosswords, sodoku, solitaire- games with a simple victory that allows me the momentary thrill of setting the world right. But song- writing feels like a similar discipline to me. A puzzle of letters and math, theory and rule, expression and passion.

The lyric of this song attempts to start at the womb and follow a human soul through life. And so it begins: the heart beats, the eyes open, breath floods the lungs for the first time- what incredible experiences! What extraordinary sensations! I wanted to write this from a father's perspective, from the eyes of the father of life. One look into the eyes of his son and the father is smitten for life. The possession that the young infant has over the father is complete. Always yours. The second verse speaks of the pain. This pain is always with us. We are born into a world of pain, the pain of losing a child, the pain of rejection, of racism, sexism, fears... these experiences rip us to pieces.

Everyone feels pain. I look to those who have been through more pain than I will ever know for guidance on the subject. The Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist Victor Frankl survived several Nazi concentration camps with his life and his hope intact. He lost more than I'll ever know... his wife, his parents, and his family did not survive. His understanding of pain is in direct opposition to our western world that is often found running from pain at all costs. Frankl’s “Case for a Tragic Optimism” speaks of turning suffering into human achievement and optimism in the face of tragedy. The memories, the pain, the scars, these are yours. Yes, the things that you and I have lost. These are yours and they have meaning. No, these could never be The Ultimate Meaning in our lives, but let these scars drive us towards "turning suffering into human achievement and accomplishment."

The bridge in the song is the acknowledgment of my own shortcomings. As a man born into beauty and pain, there is a moment of surrender where I lay down my life. This is a free volitional action, a gift, just as the father's love was given to me- this became the response. A simple surrender to the Infinite Maker of The Finite acknowledging that I need his love. The meaning in my life is often found in surrender rather than mastery.


BULLET SOUL

I want to sing one for all the dreamers
I'm singing this one for the sparks
Here's one for the friction makers
We are the bleeding hearts
don't care whoever you are

we rise and fall together
our hearts still beat below
you can't stand by forever
you're a kid with a bullet soul
are you ready to go?

I want to turn up the radiation
I want to glow in the dark
love is the one true innovation
love is the only art
Don't let 'em blow it apart

we are the children of the scar
I want to start from the start

"Imagination decides everything." -Blaise Pascal

“Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.” -Jack Kerouac

Here's the second song that I worked on with Mike. We tracked a lot of it the day after we wrote "Your Love is a Song." I wanted to see what it would be like to work on a rock tune with him because I hadn't heard much of his work in that area. His passion and knowledge about fuzz tones were an incredible surprise to me. He brought out a song called “Bugman” as a reference (a blur song off of 13, a more obscure blur record that had some messier pinkerton overtones) and I knew we were on the right track. The demo I had done was much more subdued and with eclectic instrumentation (more of a cheap dust brothers concept). But he brought out a few Deviever guitar pedals and the song took turn towards the rock side of things.

We are the children of the scar. Our lives flash so quickly before us... This song was loosely based on a poem that I wrote a few years back. You only get one shot with your bullet soul, I want to make all that I can out of my one shot. Life is not perfect or ideal. Life is full of messy, bleeding dreamers. That's where things begin- Broken hearts making a broken record. But that's not the end of the story...


YET

all attempts have failed
all my heads are tails
she's got teary eyes
I've got reasons why

I'm losing ground and gaining speed
I've lost myself or most of me
I'm headed for the final precipice

but you haven't lost me yet
no you haven't lost me yet
I'll sing until my heart caves in
no, you haven't lost me yet

these day pass me by
I dream with open eyes
nightmares haunt my days
visions blur my nights

I'm so confused
what's true of false
what's fact or fiction after all
I feel like I'm an apparition's pet

but you haven't lost me yet
no, you haven't lost me yet
I'll run until my heart caves in
no, you haven't lost me yet

if it doesn't break
if it doesn't break
if it doesn't break
if it doesn't break your heart it isn't love
if it doesn't break your heart it's not enough
it's when you're breaking down
with your insides coming out
that's when you find out what your heart is made of

and you haven't lost me yet

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken." -CS Lewis

I like old instruments, often better than newer versions. It's hard to describe, feels like old guitars bring a life and a story to the conversation. When you write songs on an old guitar the guitar tends to speak up for itself from time to time. "Yet" was written on an old National steel guitar that I bought at a pawnshop on tour. It was a finger-picking tune played with a slide and very unlike the version on the record. Tim and I both thought that the folk interpretation of the song didn't really rise to the potential of the melody or the lyric. We spent a day at my house trying to find the right instrument to carry the song. We tracked the acoustic and electric guitar that day. We stumbled on the bass intro later. We were singing the final version of the song down and I felt like the end bit wasn’t quite right. It needed a bit more to tell the story. So I wrote a new lyric to go over top of the chorus chord changes.

The song is about hope. Hope is always reaching towards the future, reaching for what has not yet come to pass. Once the hope is attained, it can no longer be called hope. Hope isn't the sort of thing you can pull out of your pocket and show off. Hope is a "holding on" of sorts, an expectant belief, a desire as of yet unfulfilled. I wrote this song from a really dark place, looking for some form of hope. And maybe searching for hope is a form of hope in itself. There's a moment of honesty when your mask drops, when you can no longer pretend to have it all together. When this pretense is gone you breathe in your first real breath. When you are no longer pretending to be something you're not, you're left with a truly honest assessment of the situation. Very little is left, "Faith, hope, and love remain. But the greatest of these is love."


SING IT OUT

I'm on the run
I'm on the ropes this time
where is my song?
I've lost the song of my soul tonight

sing it out
sing it out
take what is left of me
and make it a melody

sing it out
sing out-loud
I can't the words to sing
you'd be my remedy

My song
My song
I'll sing with what's left of me

where is the sun?
feel like a ghost this time
where have you gone?
I need your breath in my lungs tonight

sing it out

I'm holding on
I'm holding on to you
My world is wrong
my world is a lie that's come true
and I fall in love with the ones that run me through
when all along all I need is you

sing it out

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.” -Lewis Carroll

"And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -Friedrich Nietzsche

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever
I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep
-Bukowski

Sometimes I lose the plot. I feel like I'm hopelessly lost underwater, as though I can't figure out which way is up. I know that there's a song somewhere inside of me but I just can't remember what it is. I want my life to be the poetry of the Poet himself, I want to sing- to be a melody intertwined with The Melody Himself. But sometimes I'm hopelessly lost, broken, spent. I fall in love with the ones and things that take life and love away from me. I need The Song Himself to sing through me. I need The Word Himself to speak into me.

Here's a song that we worked on maybe more than any of the others. There are so many versions of this song. The demo leaned towards Massive Attack. The next version was even darker- tracked with Daryll. Most of the elements that we tracked with Daryll made it to the final cut (except some incredibly moody drums that we did with him). We kept trying to find a pulse that would be constant but wouldn't feel like a dirge. The next iteration of the song sounded much more like Sade with a really memorable bass line that Tim came up with. But still, we all felt like the song was stronger without these superfluous elements. So we used the always effective "mute button" on pretty much everything. The song is singing about itself- struggling for melody, for life, for meaning. Singing about rebirth, the song spends most of its time in the grave and comes to a bright glorious finish, held out until the very end. To match the lyric we saved almost every instrument for the end of the song. In my opinion, the essence of the song was the only thing that survived on the record.


RED EYES

what are you waiting for,
the day is gone?
I said I'm waiting for dawn

what are you aiming for
out here alone?
I said I'm aiming for home

holding on, holding on

with red eyes
What are you looking for?
with red eyes
red eyes

all of my days are spent
within this skin
within this cage that I'm in

nowhere feels safe to me
nowhere feels home
even in crowds I'm alone

holding on, holding on

every now and then I see you dreaming
every now and then I see you cry
every now and then I see you reaching,
reaching for the other side
what are you waiting for?


"Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough... The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." -Mother Theresa

“Our churches have done little more than reproduce and radiate this brokenness of our culture... Many congregations do nothing but outsource justice." -John Perkins

So here we are at the end of the world. And the beginning. Here we are at the dawn of the next generation. Y2K has passed us by. MLK, Kennedy, Elvis, Lennon, Cobain, MJ... they have all left the living. They have left us searching, wondering, hoping... I read the headlines, I watch the news. Iraq, Rwanda, Iran, Darfur, Tibet, Columbine, OKC... Towers falling, mothers, brothers, sisters, fathers... passing from life to death. We're killing one another, destroying each other. Sometimes the state of the world can bring a man to his knees. It could make you cry. I get angry. I get overwhelmed. I give up... almost. Sometimes, I find myself staring into a blood red dawn, still awake from the night before. Still wondering why this new day has so much of the old darkness, the old sorrows, the old hatred. I feel so alone. I feel so alone in this world of pain.

All my heroes are the ones who ran after the higher vision, the news that stays new. We've been chasing lesser gods, gods who do not know our names, gods who will die alongside of us. The kingdom of the heavens does not come to us in our wealth, it comes to our in our poverty. Our money, our knowledge, our medicine, our sex, our privilege- these are double-edged swords, dependent upon our own shaking hands for guidance. With our two hands we build up and destroy, we hold and break the future. My own hands are shaking. I reach for the new day with fear and trembling. I'm reaching for a bird called hope, for the one true song who could bring me home. I'm waiting for dawn. I'm dreaming, reaching for the other side.

At the end of the record there is a reprise that goes back to the first song. For me this is a reminder of the repetitive nature of all that we call life. Wonder, surrender, joy, forgiveness, hope- yes, give us today the daily bread of our moment by moment existence. This life is so fragile- at any instance one of us could slip beyond this life into the infinite unknown. It's as though every breath we take has been given to us on loan. We are surrounded by mysteries, miracles, wonders, and tragedies that we will never master. Yes, I will die one day- of this I am certain. But I'm not dead yet! No, tonight there is breath in my lungs- pushing, pulsing, yearning to break free... I will dream, for dreams are the seeds of what may be. I will wonder, for without wonder, how could life be wonderful? And I will sing.

Yes, until my pending death I will sing. In the face of indifference, I will sing. In the face of adversity, I will sing. I will sing about the pain. I will sing about the mystery. I will sing of the hope, the cage, the bullet, the winter, the dreamer. I will sing of all of these. I've seen miracles there in your eyes. It's no accident we're here tonight. We are once in a lifetime."

Incredible.

I only read the ones for the songs I've heard though, because I'd understand it more than reading about a song I've never heard. I'll read the rest when I get the album. :DD

Mess of Me

Promo video for Mess of Me! Listen and watch it as many times as you can! And don't forget to leave a comment!

I JUST FOUND OUT JACK'S MANNEQUIN ADDED NEW SONGS TO HIS MYSPACE!

WHOOOOO.

There was a time when I had the laptop in my room and I discovered Jack's Mannequin and I listened to the 5 songs on his myspace again and again and again and again. Then the laptop was out of my room so I couldn't listen anymore. I was gonna buy his album on amazon but it didn't happen.

Yayy.

This is too cute.

No, not the Jonas Brothers (though I am a little partial to Nick) but that part with the little girl. Joe: What's your name? Girl: Ah.

I don't like the song very much, but that part with the girl is too cute. Bahah.

I do like this song though.

Oh, and have I mentioned before that I like Demi Lovato? I would get her album if I saw it on sale or something.

(oh and the crying/screaming girls in the video is kind of scary... :/ )

Also, THE BOARDS ARE DOWN! :(

Maybe it's cause they're changing the layout to fit Hello Hurricane. Oooooh. :DDD